never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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listen to madonnas new album

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I really like the day I was born even though there is nothing special about it like Dec 25 or May 20 (Christmas or Independence day)

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.