put my headphones in but don't listen to any music so people don't bother me.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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I really enjoy taking a shit and dont really know why.

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.