When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Spend way too much time on this website cause it makes you feel normal

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Waking up from a dream that you thought was real life, and thinking,man i wish that was real...

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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sit in the shower

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.