When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

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When I wait for something to load, I right click and then quickly try to drag a box around the right click box before it disappears. Then I try to right click and drag and see if I can outline the right click box before it appears.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

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Whenever i wear long sleeves i always hold onto the sleeves with my ring and pinkie fingers.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.