Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.