I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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I control water in the shower.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.