Look at my poop before flushing

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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I cant ride a bike

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.