toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.