When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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I eat ass

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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KICK THE CAN

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.