You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -48

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

thumb_up thumb_down -95

sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

thumb_up thumb_down -10

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.