Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.