browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I pass by closed doors quickly and at least as far away as the door seems like it can open, because I always feel like someone's going to burst out, hitting me in the face with the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.