When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.