when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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shag your mom

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.