Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Tear up when I poop

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wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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While listening to music, I imagine an insanely huge dance number to go along with it.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.