Any time I break something, I always try to put it back so it looks completely normal. That way, the next person who picks it up will have it break right in their hands… Thus becoming their fault... -Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

thumb_up thumb_down -5

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,223

Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Still record on VHS tapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.