I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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think that the whole world is a dollhouse and we are being controlled by giant people above who live in a whole differnt world

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.