When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

Having an OCD moment when the number of questions on a test is not a multiple of 5. I mean, who puts 47 questions on a test?! Or 53? English and Math teachers rarely do this but it's always the Histoy ones...

write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

Try to pet your cat with your foot.

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

Boinked my neighbor

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.