wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.