Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.