Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.