I cant ride a bike

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.