When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Try to pee on the toilet-paper in the toilet so it rips in half

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check shower for murder then pee

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.