Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Pee in the shower

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.