Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

Giving my dog a massage.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.