When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.