i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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Can't seem to manage not throwing rocks into sea/river

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.