I Repeat my coincidental happenings..and say please don't do(x5)..

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jack off

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I **** with no hands.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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speak proper english

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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When the car runs over bumps in the road on the freeway, they sound like horses hooves, so I pretend my car's being pulled by invisible horses.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.