When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Breathe.

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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suck my own penis

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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penis

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Look an ugly person up and down and try to think of ways that they can improve how they look. ( clothing, hair, and makeup)

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When no one is home or if no one is looking you go in the fridge and drink right out of the bottle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.