When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Poop naked.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.