I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.