I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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whale sperm

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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??2????????????????????

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.