Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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Look at my poop before flushing

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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I cant ride a bike

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.