Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Pee in the shower

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.