When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Poop naked.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

I hate being called "buddy".

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.