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wonder who wrote these things

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.