When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When your the only one home and you hear a slight creak be like I HEARD THAT to scare of any serial killers.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Sometimes I wonder who created words. For instance, who thought to call a fence a fence? It could have been called something completely random like bucxbuw, but it would seem normal to us and fence would seem like jibberish instead.

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sing in the shower

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.