When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Having gay sex

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.