When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Peeing in the shower

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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Put my hand under the pillow in bed to get orgasm

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.