When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

thumb_up thumb_down -79

wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -23

that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,997

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Having gay sex

thumb_up thumb_down -10

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -12

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.