I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

sing in the shower

put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

Go on this site to feel normal.

I always think I have special powers

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.