When your friend tells you something, but you don't hear them so you just start laughing.

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.