I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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wipe your hands on your pants

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.