I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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sing in the shower

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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Go on this site to feel normal.

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I always think I have special powers

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.