Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

I eat one way in public and another way in private.

putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

I ejaculate fire and glory

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

Look at a friend and realize that you have forgotten their name...

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.