wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Say what even when u heard someone

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night with a feeling that I'm falling

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.