I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.