i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.