Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Courtesy flush.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.