Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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I gotta get down of Friday

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.