When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Tried to suck ur own penis

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Realising that there are ASSHOLES posting dumb shit on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

thumb_up thumb_down -29

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -135

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

waking up from an amazing/awesome dream and spend the rest of the day thinking up of new senarios to come after...

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -35

when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.