Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.