RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.