see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -108

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +25

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +13

when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.