Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.