When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.