worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.