I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.