When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.