I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Picking my nose.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.