Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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fap

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Picking my nose.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.