scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.