Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Picking my nose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.