We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.