When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

thumb_up thumb_down -31

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -33

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -39

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

thumb_up thumb_down -67

only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.