Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

thumb_up thumb_down -45

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -51

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Picking my nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -63

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -77

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.