Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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fap

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.