expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Picking my nose.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

I have autofocus in my eyes.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.