When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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fap

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.