Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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fap

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.