- Things You Think Only You Do

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I cant ride a bike

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.