start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I **** with no hands.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.