I was not born in the country I am living in now

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.