Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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Always cover yourself in the bathroom mirror at home because you have this strange feeling that people at school are all watching you through your mirror~pls tell me im not the only one who ever feels this~oh well

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.