Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

I was not born in the country I am living in now

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.