I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.