Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.