everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

thumb_up thumb_down -57

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -119

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.