Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -49

fap

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -55

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -71

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -115

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.