Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.