Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.