Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

pull out a flies wings and let it go

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.