When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.