Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.