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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.
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-59
Believing in the kindness of strangers
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-61
Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.
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-61
Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.
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-63
When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"
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-63
trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.
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-63
When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.
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-67
Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.
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-67
Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.
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-69
Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.
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-69
When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.
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-69
I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home
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-73
I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .
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-73
What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.
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-73
Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)
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-77
that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?
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-77
Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....
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-81
Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.
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-85
I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons
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-85
When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning
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-89
(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.
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-89
when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..
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-91
Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.
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-93
You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.
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-95
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.