Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.