Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

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When leaving a poop smear under the water in the toilet that doesn't get flushed away, I put a few pieces of toilet paper on the water surface to conceal it.

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

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Walking around near loud music and begin to feel like your walking to the beat.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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i use dental dams

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Every time I open a door, I shout out "Alohamora!" and then I open it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.