When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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fart

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.