sometimes if I am going on a flight to another country I will hold a small pocket of air in my mouth before getting on the plane and then I would let it out after we land

thumb_up thumb_down -148

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

thumb_up thumb_down -51

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

thumb_up thumb_down -26

fart

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

thumb_up thumb_down -145

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -118

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.