When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

If I'm doing something that involves two ppl i race even if the other person doesn't know it and if i win i get a huge ass grin which is awkward sometimes

when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

fart

Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

If there's a mirror i look if there's people around looking at me, and if there aren't it's ok to stare at my reflection.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.