you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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I am a BIG TIME movie talker. I always ask questions that people obviously don’t know the answer to like, “Where is he going?” “I thought they were friends?” “Wait.. Is she mad?” “Is that guy the killer?” Although people seem to tolerate me, I do promise that it is completely on accident. I don’t even realize I do it. –Ikka.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.