When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

fart

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

I really enjoy self-pity.

when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

fap

I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

Know you have enough milk in your cereal when you start to see it peek through the cracks

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.