Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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I can see a magic eye image

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.