shag your mom

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Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

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ASMR

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.