When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -101

when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I can see a magic eye image

thumb_up thumb_down -15

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.