when you bleed you suck your own blood

Dancing while hoovering

hallo

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I use the power-stance sometimes when I poop. It's where you completely remove one leg from your pants and put the shoe back on. Your legs can go further apart.

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

I constantly try to turn something I say into my catch phrase.

I type things i really want to say to people and then delete them straight away because im too chicken to say it.

When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

Playing TV in bed because if I don't I jump at every noise in the house and don't sleep.

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

Clenching my fists, imagining I have wolverine claws coming out of my knuckles

Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

Seperate your food on you dinner plate

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

I sleep in the nude.

I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.