Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I always poke myself in the eye when I put on mascara, then have a wild hand spasm so it gets all over my face.

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hallo

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I open the shower curtain when I get in the bathroom to make sure no ones there.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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almost asleep and your body randomly jerks and scares you

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Gotta sleep with a fan.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.