Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -39

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Being from another country and always thinking in english.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -39

every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

thumb_up thumb_down -95

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +50

When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.