masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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Say you're not hungry at a friend's house when his/her parents offer you food, even though you're starving

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Laugh quietly to myself in public then cough to make the laugh seem like a it was a cough so people won't think I'm weird.

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Wiggle my foot befor u go sleep in bed!!??

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

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conundrum.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Having to step on snails to hear the crunch

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I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.