When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

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When I am bored, usually in class, I simulate what I would do if the zombie apocalypse was occurring right now.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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im going to rape that girl

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.