Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Eat something that will make crumbs over the sink because you are too lazy to get a plate

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Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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When I stop thinking about about something it'll turn out that I've been staring at someone without meaning to.

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when on a bus, pretend to fail to see your acquaintances to get some rest and avoid boring conversations.

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tries to beat the search from loading the results before Im done typing my search when using youtube for xbox 360

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Think about when im old and im dying and under what circumstances,and think will i remember this day when i thought of it and think,shit that was fast,almost like sending myself a message to the future...if that makes any sense lol

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Has to cover up with a blanket, regardless of the temperature...

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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im going to rape that girl

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fart

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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Any time I shop for used clothes, I always have to ask, “Did anybody die in this?” –Ikka

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.