cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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While watching a movie, I imagine that same movie in my mind only replacing the characters with different ones from other series or videogames that I like. It just seems to make the movie better.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.