When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Get longingly desperate feeling for days/weeks after a concert of my favorite band.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

thumb_up thumb_down -25

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.