If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +55

My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes when im lost in thought I twirl a piece of my bangs and stare off in a daze.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

thumb_up thumb_down +45

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I walk down the stairs sideways because I'm afraid something will get me.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

thumb_up thumb_down -60

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

thumb_up thumb_down -134

Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.