If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.