Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

thumb_up thumb_down -83

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

thumb_up thumb_down -99

I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I'm trying to sleep if both my legs are under the duvet it's too warm. Both legs out it's too cold. When I have one leg out and on the duvet it's just right. I sometimes also put my leg against the wall when it's cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I turn on the faucet or turn up the radio in the bathroom so maybe no one can hear me pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Thinking about how fast you blink and how many times you have blinked. You then start blinking too much because you are thinling about yourself blinking, and you try to stop, but you can't stop thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.