When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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when my parents are gone i shout random stuff

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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I can see a magic eye image

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Find something on this site that you actually do not do, and think how weird the person who wrote that must be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.