I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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http://www.todayswhatsappstatus.com/

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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I eat ass

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.