ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

thumb_up thumb_down -125

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

feed a gecko worms every day, not the good worms though...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

thumb_up thumb_down -32

For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes, I ask myself philosophical questions. The one that is bugging me now is "If reincarnation is real, why is this life so vivid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I make a conversation with myself when looking at mirrors !

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

thumb_up thumb_down -45

DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.