When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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write a test and the information i studied most is not on the test

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.