- Things You Think Only You Do

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

I yawn on command… and hate it. –Ikka

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

try as hard as possible to not use the last of the toilet paper so you don't have to change the roll and inadvertently force someone else to do it.

get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

Walking past a light switch, but miss when try to turn the lights on so you just keep walking instead.

I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it didn't want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.