DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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Cry every day just because it makes you feel better.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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I seriously contemplate what my theme song would be. I imagine it would have no words and a slight Mission Impossible influence.

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Scared to flush the tolite at friends houses in fear that i will wake someone up of break the tolite.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.