pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.