Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Watch the same movies over and over

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

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I piss in the bed every night

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.