I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.