Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sit on the loo and think about life because I can't be bothered to get up

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.