wipe your hands on your pants

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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being super bored at shool

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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i use dental dams

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.