I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Pee in my work garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down +573

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Brake for tail-gaters

thumb_up thumb_down -52

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +1

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

play with a knife and pretend to be a master blade wielder

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.