Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.