when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.