Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

Cope with serious things by not taking them seriously.

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

wonder if there are secret cameras watching my every move...

When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

i use dental dams

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

Pick giant boogers and eat them.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

I can't leave the volume on anything on a odd number.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.