Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

Videotape my mother in the shower.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.