(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

wonder who wrote these things

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +13

repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

thumb_up thumb_down +32

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Smell your hands to see if there dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -59

When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

thumb_up thumb_down

im going to RAPEEEE that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -144

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.