When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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when something is lost you check the spot they or it should be at least 5 to 10 times

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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after ive done something, or experienced something. when i think back on the days events, i think to myself. "i think ive done that before somewere". i must have a boring existance. its always de ja vu with me.

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pleasure my self... because I didn't they automatically censored certain words

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.