When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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When I go up the stairs, I always have to end on my right foot. If I have to, I will even hop on one foot on the last stair in order to land on it.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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My most intimate moments are constantly interrupted by the same thought..."oh, God...what if there is a secret security cam in here...CUT TO: oh God...can my dead grandparents see me now????"

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.