wipe your hands on your pants

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

when someone is playing a song which i really like but don't know the name of it i either try to guess the name by the lyrics or i try to read the name from their iPod without them noticing and then immediately make a note on my mobile and saving it.

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

being super bored at shool

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

When walking in a pub or a mall or any place which has music playing, I walk along with the beats thinking that I will look super cool doing that!

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

i use dental dams

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

get home from work and masturbate instantly

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.