Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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when the teacher is asking the class something and i have no idea I'm looking at the paper in front of me, pretending to still making notes and thinking to myself 'don't take me, don't take me...'

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Whenever I read creepy pastas and there is a picture after the story I get afraid to look at it than when I do I freak out thinking it's going to eat me. Than when I look at it I shout FUUUUUUU.. Than look at it some more and I burst out laughing seeing its a fucking dumb picture.

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I always think I have special powers

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I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.