when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.