Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Smoking in the shower.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.