Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.