After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.