sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.