Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sleep with pillow between legs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.