when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.