Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -61

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -61

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -63

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I **** with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.