- Things You Think Only You Do

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

fap

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! end of special message just for you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.