Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Sitting down in the shower

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.