I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Make up a song to yourself.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I chew my ice cream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.