Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Picking my nose.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.