worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I'm not bad looking and I don't fall into the beautiful category either but I really feel good about the way I look

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.