masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

pull out a flies wings and let it go

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.