Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.