acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.