I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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only read the short jokes on this website

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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fap

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Picking my nose.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.