I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.