doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.