get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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fap

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.