make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.