I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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You or someone you know has a secret crush/liking but the always shout it to the world. My sister does that.(It's why I ask)

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.