I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I **** with no hands.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.