At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Sitting down in the shower

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I **** with no hands.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.