Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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fap

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.