Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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fap

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.