Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.