Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.