When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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blink

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.