You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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look at bins as i walk past them

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.