Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.