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I can't piss with my shoes on.
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-74
What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.
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-74
filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.
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-78
Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.
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-80
Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <
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-82
Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett
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-84
I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche
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+11
Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it
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+7
I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''
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+5
When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.
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+5
Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.
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+5
I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.
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-7
wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell
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-9
turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.
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-9
Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.
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-11
Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee
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-11
Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.
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-13
When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.
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-15
freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this
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-17
I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.
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-17
when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.
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-19
Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.
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-19
Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.
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-21
Feels my beard with my tongue.
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-21
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.