Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Being fat

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.