Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

make south park refferences every day

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.