Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

thumb_up thumb_down -14

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -20

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Feels my beard with my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -32

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.