Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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make south park refferences every day

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.