have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.