I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

thumb_up thumb_down -15

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Videotape my mother in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.