when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.