pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

Vote for the other guy

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Being fat

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

I gotta get down of Friday

Put my hands together the 'other' way

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.