When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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My parents are annoying.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.