When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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humiliating little girls

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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blink

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.