Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -35

listen to madonnas new album

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -41

blink

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

make south park refferences every day

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.