Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.