Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -89

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -113

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -123

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +64

When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I piss in the bed every night

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.