Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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I Masturbate Daily.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.