strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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humiliating little girls

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.