Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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humiliating little girls

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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blink

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.