get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.