try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Take off the ends of the banana (

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

The older I get the more honest I get

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.