Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.