try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.