When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.