Love feet. like LOVE feet.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

Sometimes I toot.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.