Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.