When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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blink

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.