At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.