I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Made after doomsday plans

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.