i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.