Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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My parents are annoying.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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blink

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.