Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I never feel bored

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.