I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Poo really loud

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.