Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.