Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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humiliating little girls

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.