as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.