After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Picking my nose.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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I was the real Stig...

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.