When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.