When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.