Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I piss in the bed every night

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.