When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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I was the real Stig...

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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I piss in the bed every night

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.