Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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I was the real Stig...

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.