Being fat

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

thumb_up thumb_down -69

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

thumb_up thumb_down -69

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -71

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

The older I get the more honest I get

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I piss in the bed every night

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.