as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.