as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.