Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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make south park refferences every day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.