Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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I piss in the bed every night

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.