Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.