Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

I piss in the bed every night

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.