I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

thumb_up thumb_down

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down

When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Save more than once on your favourite game.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I mean Diana Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.