whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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I piss in the bed every night

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Mayada stupid

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.