I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.