How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.