Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I hit the frig after sex

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.