the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.