- Things You Think Only You Do

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

I have never watched Star Wars.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

i masturbate with my feet

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I gotta get down of Friday

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.