Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.