After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I have a phobia of incest

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.