When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Pulling the same faces as the character you are reading currently is.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.