Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.