Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.