use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Being fat

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.