I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.