I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.