- Things You Think Only You Do

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Poo really loud

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

make south park refferences every day

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.