Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.