I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

Thinking your life is a movie...

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.