Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Tear up when I poop

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.