All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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make south park refferences every day

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.