- Things You Think Only You Do

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.