I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Tear up when I poop

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Think about breathing...

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.