Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.