like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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listen to madonnas new album

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.