sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.