When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Sometimes I toot.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.