Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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I read the down voted posts

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.