While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.