I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.