listen to madonnas new album

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.