Ur mum

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.