getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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make south park refferences every day

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.