Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Do somthing only you do

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.