(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.