When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.