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Anti-Pickup Line
Joe Blocked
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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.
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-33
Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.
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-33
sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.
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-33
I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.
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-37
Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.
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-39
Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.
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-41
I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.
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-43
Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.
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-43
At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.
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-47
test how many stares you can scale in one step
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-49
Think what would I be doing if I was someone else
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-51
When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming
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-53
When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.
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-57
Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.
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-57
Sitting down in the shower
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-59
I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.
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-59
Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with
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-61
Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.
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-61
When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.
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-61
Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.
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-61
eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white
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-63
Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day
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-63
Think of something to post but cant put it into words.
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-63
Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.
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-65
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.