fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Ur mum

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.