- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

I talk to inanimate objects daily.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

only read the short jokes on this website

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

I think Frozen is an overrated film

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.