I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Picking my nose.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.