Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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I Masturbate Daily.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.