Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

fap

Courtesy flush.

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Only use the left earphone.

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Thinking your life is a movie...

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.