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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...
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-35
in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.
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-35
I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.
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-37
Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other
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-37
Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.
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-37
I think Frozen is an overrated film
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-41
I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.
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-41
I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night
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-43
While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.
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-43
I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized
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-45
If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!
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-45
(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.
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-45
Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.
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-45
Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.
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-47
Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....
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-47
I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said
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-47
Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.
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-47
When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million
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-47
whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention
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-49
expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.
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-49
Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!
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-49
When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.
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-51
Courtesy flush.
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-53
fap
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-53
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.