Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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I hit the frig after sex

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.