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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Run faster down hotel corridors.

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Stab myself on a daily basis

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

I chew my ice cream.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.