Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.