fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Ur mum

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.