Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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fap

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Courtesy flush.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Only use the left earphone.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.