When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I was the real Stig...

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.